Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Cream of the Crop - The Pacific Division Preview
5. Sacramento - Do I really have to write about this team? Artest and Bibby are gone, and frankly the rest of these stiffs just aren't that interesting. Kevin Martin is a pretty good scorer, but unless you have him in a fantasy pool, why the hell are you still reading this paragraph?
4. Golden State - Monta Ellis broke the cardinal rule of riding a Vespa and in the process screwed over G-State. What's the cardinal rule, you ask? Well, riding a Vespa is like nailing a fat chick - fun to do, but you can't let your friends see you. Unfortunately for the Warriors, Monta got busted and that secret love of his is going to cost him a couple of months on the sideline. This team has a few decent pieces in guys like Harrington, Maggette and Jackson, and will try to play some uptempo Nelly Ball, but they just aren't on par with the class of the Western Conference.
3. Clippers - Not sure if you saw this on your sports ticker over the summer, but Elton Brand stabbed the Clippers in the back and jumped ship to the 76ers. Personally, I have no idea why Elton would do it. Have you ever been to Philly in the winter? Have you ever been to LA in the winter? MLB just had to postpone the World Series clinching game in Philly for 2 days because of inclement weather involving a mix of snow and rain, while I'm sitting here looking out my office window at 73 degree weather and constant sunshine in SoCal. Elton is an idiot. With that said, the Clips have some talent in Bar
on Davis, that handsome fella Chris Kaman and an angry Marcus Camby, and I would have put this team second in the division if Brand hung around, but he didn't so they're getting the #3 spot. Oh, and here's my obligatory reference to Baron Davis making movies in Hollywood.
2. Phoenix - They should rename this team the PHX Sunsets, because this is a group that is on the brink of going down. Nash, Shaq and the walking infirmary known as Grant Hill are on their last legs as players, and seem to be more interested in owning the Suns these days. I was going to spend my time writing about my serious concern for Shaq's motivational levels - but he showed in MIA that he's usually good for one final push during his second season in a new town. Like the Beatles, these guys are an oldie but a goodie, and if Shaq can give them that serviceable season, I think they have one last run in them before breaking up the band.
1. Lakers - Pretty simple pick. Much to my own personal chagrin, the Lakers are the consensus favorite not only in the division, but also in the Western Conference after the robbery of Pau Gasol and a trip to the NBA Finals last year. With Kobe, Pau, Bynum, Lamar and co. on the roster, its hard to justify picking against this team, ASSuming of course Kobe doesn't rape anyone this season. Actually, as much I want this team to lose, there are some real questions, such as Kobe's stamina and injured pinkie finger after a trip to the Finals and playing in the Olympics all summer, Bynum's ability to sustain the high level of play he showed in all 6 of those famous games he played last year, as well as Phil's ability to appease Lamar in a contract year (hint: he's going to sulk if he's coming off the bench all season and not playing a key role). Unfortuantely for me, Phil will probably give these idiots a text from some ancient French philosopher and this team will go on to win the title. FML.
4. Golden State - Monta Ellis broke the cardinal rule of riding a Vespa and in the process screwed over G-State. What's the cardinal rule, you ask? Well, riding a Vespa is like nailing a fat chick - fun to do, but you can't let your friends see you. Unfortunately for the Warriors, Monta got busted and that secret love of his is going to cost him a couple of months on the sideline. This team has a few decent pieces in guys like Harrington, Maggette and Jackson, and will try to play some uptempo Nelly Ball, but they just aren't on par with the class of the Western Conference.
3. Clippers - Not sure if you saw this on your sports ticker over the summer, but Elton Brand stabbed the Clippers in the back and jumped ship to the 76ers. Personally, I have no idea why Elton would do it. Have you ever been to Philly in the winter? Have you ever been to LA in the winter? MLB just had to postpone the World Series clinching game in Philly for 2 days because of inclement weather involving a mix of snow and rain, while I'm sitting here looking out my office window at 73 degree weather and constant sunshine in SoCal. Elton is an idiot. With that said, the Clips have some talent in Bar
on Davis, that handsome fella Chris Kaman and an angry Marcus Camby, and I would have put this team second in the division if Brand hung around, but he didn't so they're getting the #3 spot. Oh, and here's my obligatory reference to Baron Davis making movies in Hollywood.2. Phoenix - They should rename this team the PHX Sunsets, because this is a group that is on the brink of going down. Nash, Shaq and the walking infirmary known as Grant Hill are on their last legs as players, and seem to be more interested in owning the Suns these days
1. Lakers - Pretty simple pick. Much to my own personal chagrin, the Lakers are the consensus favorite not only in the division, but also in the Western Conference after the robbery of Pau Gasol and a trip to the NBA Finals last year. With Kobe, Pau, Bynum, Lamar and co. on the roster, its hard to justify picking against this team, ASSuming of course Kobe doesn't rape anyone this season. Actually, as much I want this team to lose, there are some real questions, such as Kobe's stamina and injured pinkie finger after a trip to the Finals and playing in the Olympics all summer, Bynum's ability to sustain the high level of play he showed in all 6 of those famous games he played last year, as well as Phil's ability to appease Lamar in a contract year (hint: he's going to sulk if he's coming off the bench all season and not playing a key role). Unfortuantely for me, Phil will probably give these idiots a text from some ancient French philosopher and this team will go on to win the title. FML.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Gateway to the Lottery - Southeast Division Preview
Our NBA preview continues with the Southeast and just like its NHL brethren, it is arguably the worst division in the league. For 2009 draft lottery picks, I highly recommend you spend some time this year reading up and acquainting yourselves with 4 of these 5 cities just to be safe.
5. Charlotte Bobcats – The worst of the worst. I watched this team play a preseason game
last night in which they only scored 30 first half points. No wonder they went 0-8! The only things that kept me mildly interested were 1) J-Rich’s dazzling array of circus layups that didn’t even hit the rim, and 2) figuring out who the new uber-feminine Euro ponytail guy was on the Bobcats. Did Walter Hermann, the basketball Fabio, come back for a second stint? So I nearly crapped my pants when I found out it was the immortal stiff, Adam Morrison, whose new pedophile look should do wonders for keeping little children and the next generation of fans away from watching this awful team. I mean, did Jordan and Co. just assume they were drafting a team of collegiate all-stars for another March Madness run? Because a core of Felton, Okafor, May, Augustin, and Morrison just ain’t gonna cut it in this putrid division, let alone the NBA. This is the most forgettable franchise around. Can we fold them or at least move them to Seattle or Vancouver already?
4. Washington Wizards – Sure, the Wiz had some bad injury luck the last couple of years just before the playoffs, but are they that disillusioned to think their core would have competed anyways? Because not much has changed except that Arenas is out indefinitely and Jamison is older, banged up, and recently paid. Sure the Caron Butler trio is a nice player, but I’ve always felt this troika has been way overrated and overpaid. Plus Deshawn Stevenson is still a bum, Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood are not developing after 8 years of mediocrity, and if Andray Blatche is your future, you might as well start counting your ping pong balls now. And have fun with Agent Zero’s $111m broken knees over the next 6 years. Does Hibachi also mean deadweight in Japanese?
3. Atlanta Hawks – “Big beats, hit streets, see gangsters roamin. And parties don’t stop till eight in the mo’nin.” Well, I hope the Waffle House is good to this year’s Hawks because last year’s playoff parties may be a distant memory in mere months. Seriously, leave it up to their idiot management to immediately derail any momentum from the Celtics series by stalling forever on Josh Smith’s contract and low-balling Josh Childress to the point he’d rather go to Greece for his paycheck and a bucket of gyros. C’mon, really? Shouldn’t Atlanta be the last franchise trying to call a player’s bluff? The Atlanta Spirit Group makes MLSE look like Google to their Worldcom.
While Childress’ departure hurts a lot, it does open the door for Marvin Williams to prove himself. Does he succeed? I’m undecided but I don’t think he provides enough to unequivocally say this team is significantly better from last year’s 38 win team that snuck into the playoffs in a pathetic conference that should be improved this year. I think for that to happen, Bibby will have to summon his inner Andre Miller in a contract year, Joe Johnson will have to play every game like he did Game 4, Josh Smith will have to restrain himself from assassinating Coach Woodson, and they all have to stay healthy to cover up a bench that has less depth than Michael Vick's bank account. I’m pulling for them but sounds like a lot, eh? At least they’ll take solace in Al Horford’s development and finding new ways to screw the Raptors every time they visit. Plus, you don't mess with the Zaza.
2. Miami Heat – I don’t get why everyone automatically assumes this team is going to internally combust and become the felons of South Beach. I see a lot of talent at the 2-4 positions that’s not unlike an upgraded version of the Hawks. D-Wade was killer at the Olympics and I’m seriously hoping his body holds up the whole year. The NBA needs the 2006 Flash back and without that bumbling moron Shaq around, I can actually root for him now. Beasley is going to be awesome and average an 18/7 while Marion will still be one of the best small forward rebounders and defenders, even if his offensive flaws are exposed without Nash to feed him alley-oops all game. The Heat are still fast and will r
un and gun, which is to his and the rest of the team’s strength. And if Chalmers can put down the bong and become a decent PG, I totally feel this Heat team can make the playoffs. Love the gamble on Shaun Livingston too. The big question is if at the trade deadline, the Heat are hovering around .500 or lower, will they move Matrix? If so and they get shit all in return, then I’m not guaranteeing anything. Also true if Stephon Marbury shows up to South Beach in a truck.
1. Orlando Magic – They’re here by default even though I’m not a huge fan and think they should be much better than they are. Honestly, why d
oesn’t the whole team just share turns lobbing 12 foot passes in the vicinity of the rim for Howard to throw down? Oh that’s right, they still have that afterbirth Jameer Nelson running the point and thinking he’s a first team all-star. Hedo Turkoglu was a revelation last year, especially in crunch time when he seemed to clear out defenders and create space with his huge schnozz. The Magic better hope it wasn’t an aberration and that Rashard Lewis becomes more multi-dimensional, or else their fate is looking similar to last year – just good enough to make the 2nd round but clearly inferior to the conference’s elite. I’ll also be interested to see what Pietrus does with a more featured role and inspiration from his new coach (sorry, redundant joke, but always humourous).
5. Charlotte Bobcats – The worst of the worst. I watched this team play a preseason game
last night in which they only scored 30 first half points. No wonder they went 0-8! The only things that kept me mildly interested were 1) J-Rich’s dazzling array of circus layups that didn’t even hit the rim, and 2) figuring out who the new uber-feminine Euro ponytail guy was on the Bobcats. Did Walter Hermann, the basketball Fabio, come back for a second stint? So I nearly crapped my pants when I found out it was the immortal stiff, Adam Morrison, whose new pedophile look should do wonders for keeping little children and the next generation of fans away from watching this awful team. I mean, did Jordan and Co. just assume they were drafting a team of collegiate all-stars for another March Madness run? Because a core of Felton, Okafor, May, Augustin, and Morrison just ain’t gonna cut it in this putrid division, let alone the NBA. This is the most forgettable franchise around. Can we fold them or at least move them to Seattle or Vancouver already?
4. Washington Wizards – Sure, the Wiz had some bad injury luck the last couple of years just before the playoffs, but are they that disillusioned to think their core would have competed anyways? Because not much has changed except that Arenas is out indefinitely and Jamison is older, banged up, and recently paid. Sure the Caron Butler trio is a nice player, but I’ve always felt this troika has been way overrated and overpaid. Plus Deshawn Stevenson is still a bum, Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood are not developing after 8 years of mediocrity, and if Andray Blatche is your future, you might as well start counting your ping pong balls now. And have fun with Agent Zero’s $111m broken knees over the next 6 years. Does Hibachi also mean deadweight in Japanese? 3. Atlanta Hawks – “Big beats, hit streets, see gangsters roamin. And parties don’t stop till eight in the mo’nin.” Well, I hope the Waffle House is good to this year’s Hawks because last year’s playoff parties may be a distant memory in mere months. Seriously, leave it up to their idiot management to immediately derail any momentum from the Celtics series by stalling forever on Josh Smith’s contract and low-balling Josh Childress to the point he’d rather go to Greece for his paycheck and a bucket of gyros. C’mon, really? Shouldn’t Atlanta be the last franchise trying to call a player’s bluff? The Atlanta Spirit Group makes MLSE look like Google to their Worldcom.
While Childress’ departure hurts a lot, it does open the door for Marvin Williams to prove himself. Does he succeed? I’m undecided but I don’t think he provides enough to unequivocally say this team is significantly better from last year’s 38 win team that snuck into the playoffs in a pathetic conference that should be improved this year. I think for that to happen, Bibby will have to summon his inner Andre Miller in a contract year, Joe Johnson will have to play every game like he did Game 4, Josh Smith will have to restrain himself from assassinating Coach Woodson, and they all have to stay healthy to cover up a bench that has less depth than Michael Vick's bank account. I’m pulling for them but sounds like a lot, eh? At least they’ll take solace in Al Horford’s development and finding new ways to screw the Raptors every time they visit. Plus, you don't mess with the Zaza.
2. Miami Heat – I don’t get why everyone automatically assumes this team is going to internally combust and become the felons of South Beach. I see a lot of talent at the 2-4 positions that’s not unlike an upgraded version of the Hawks. D-Wade was killer at the Olympics and I’m seriously hoping his body holds up the whole year. The NBA needs the 2006 Flash back and without that bumbling moron Shaq around, I can actually root for him now. Beasley is going to be awesome and average an 18/7 while Marion will still be one of the best small forward rebounders and defenders, even if his offensive flaws are exposed without Nash to feed him alley-oops all game. The Heat are still fast and will r
un and gun, which is to his and the rest of the team’s strength. And if Chalmers can put down the bong and become a decent PG, I totally feel this Heat team can make the playoffs. Love the gamble on Shaun Livingston too. The big question is if at the trade deadline, the Heat are hovering around .500 or lower, will they move Matrix? If so and they get shit all in return, then I’m not guaranteeing anything. Also true if Stephon Marbury shows up to South Beach in a truck.1. Orlando Magic – They’re here by default even though I’m not a huge fan and think they should be much better than they are. Honestly, why d
oesn’t the whole team just share turns lobbing 12 foot passes in the vicinity of the rim for Howard to throw down? Oh that’s right, they still have that afterbirth Jameer Nelson running the point and thinking he’s a first team all-star. Hedo Turkoglu was a revelation last year, especially in crunch time when he seemed to clear out defenders and create space with his huge schnozz. The Magic better hope it wasn’t an aberration and that Rashard Lewis becomes more multi-dimensional, or else their fate is looking similar to last year – just good enough to make the 2nd round but clearly inferior to the conference’s elite. I’ll also be interested to see what Pietrus does with a more featured role and inspiration from his new coach (sorry, redundant joke, but always humourous). Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Hope you didn't invest in Mike Nolan
Flipping through an old issue of Time this morning, I found something that may be of interest to all 5 readers of this blog – OneSeason.com.
SI has a blurb in each issue called “Signs of the Apocalypse”. I don’t know if this should make that list or Wired’s Top 100, but I feel there’s at least progress being made towards geeks, jocks, meatheads, and yuppies co-existing.
My financial advice for the upcoming NBA season:
Buy low on CJ Watson, Rodney Stuckey, Ramon Sessions, Hakim Warrick, Al Thornton, Thaddeus Young, Zaza Pachulia, Matt Barnes, Devin Harris
Short sell Baron Davis, Allen Iverson, Andre Miller, Chaucey Billups, Amare Stoudemire, Yao Ming, Marcus Camby, Andrew Bynum, Shawn Marion, Corey Maggette
Bid for IPOs on Rudy Fernandez, Michael Beasley, Derrick Rose, damn this rookie class blows
Don’t believe the hype on: Mo Williams, John “Turncoat” Salmons, Jason Maxiell, Amir Johnson, Marc Gasol, Russell Westbrook, Andray Blatche, Marcus Williams
Smoke a doob with Josh Howard, Mario Chalmers, and Darrell Arthur
As mentioned before, NBA division previews coming soon...
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