Showing posts with label NBA Preview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NBA Preview. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Something for the Sports Bitch and the Haters: 2008 Raptors Predictions
So I have read what Sports Bitch has to say about the Raps, and I am angry. He was the straw that broke the camel's back. I have heard to much hatin' on the Raps big trade this year from too many sources and people. Is Jermaine O'Neal a huge injury risk? Yes. Is JO going to average 20-10 ever again? No. Are the Raptors chances of advancing in the East (playoffs and standings) infinitely better with JO? Hell Yeah. In fact, I am writing these predictions for all the haters out there.
1. Jermaine O'Neal will average 15 points, 9 boards, and 1.5 blocks a game. I believe that this is an extremely realistic prediction for JO. He averaged 13-7 last year for a team that had Frank Lucas at the point.
2. Chris Bosh will make First Team All-NBA this year. Every sports writer out there seems to cream their pants when they talk about D Wade's summer in Beijing. Do you know who was the best big man for the US? Chris Bosh. Everyone acknowledges this, but no one assumes that CB4 will make the leap back in the NBA. Hater talk. Bosh is going to rip the mantle of "Best Skinny PF" from KG's cold dead hands this year. The future is here.
3. Jose Calderon is going to be an All-Star and top 5 PG in the NBA. Insane? I don't think so. When TJ was out last season, Jose averaged 13 points - 11 assists (0.5 tunovers), and I think he has more scoring upside this year. So my prediction for Jose this year - 18 pts and 12 assists. There is no depth behind him, and with the added minutes, he's gonna shine.
4. Joey Graham and Jamario Moon will be totally frustrating to watch, and will make you want to throw things at your TV. There is no getting away from this. The Raps will live and die with these 2 manning the 3 spot. I have no idea what they are going to bring to the table offensively, but one or both of these guys better be ready to play some serious lock down, he's so in his grill I thought he was the dentist, defense. Anything else is unacceptable.
5. At the trade deadline, Colangelo Jedi mind-tricks Pat Riley into trading Matrix to the Raps for Il Busto, Hump, Graham, and a hug. When this happens, this team is going to the Finals. Book the tickets. Oh, you can also file this prediction in the Complete Fantasy file. How unlikely is this? About as unlikely as Smokey hooking up with fellow Van City resident Laura Vandervoot (j/k Smokey, just needed to get a pic of a hot chick in this post).
Its time to get in the bunker for 2008-2009. Season starts at 7 tonight. I am pumped.
1. Jermaine O'Neal will average 15 points, 9 boards, and 1.5 blocks a game. I believe that this is an extremely realistic prediction for JO. He averaged 13-7 last year for a team that had Frank Lucas at the point. 
2. Chris Bosh will make First Team All-NBA this year. Every sports writer out there seems to cream their pants when they talk about D Wade's summer in Beijing. Do you know who was the best big man for the US? Chris Bosh. Everyone acknowledges this, but no one assumes that CB4 will make the leap back in the NBA. Hater talk. Bosh is going to rip the mantle of "Best Skinny PF" from KG's cold dead hands this year. The future is here.
3. Jose Calderon is going to be an All-Star and top 5 PG in the NBA. Insane? I don't think so. When TJ was out last season, Jose averaged 13 points - 11 assists (0.5 tunovers), and I think he has more scoring upside this year. So my prediction for Jose this year - 18 pts and 12 assists. There is no depth behind him, and with the added minutes, he's gonna shine.4. Joey Graham and Jamario Moon will be totally frustrating to watch, and will make you want to throw things at your TV. There is no getting away from this. The Raps will live and die with these 2 manning the 3 spot. I have no idea what they are going to bring to the table offensively, but one or both of these guys better be ready to play some serious lock down, he's so in his grill I thought he was the dentist, defense. Anything else is unacceptable.
5. At the trade deadline, Colangelo Jedi mind-tricks Pat Riley into trading Matrix to the Raps for Il Busto, Hump, Graham, and a hug. When this happens, this team is going to the Finals. Book the tickets. Oh, you can also file this prediction in the Complete Fantasy file. How unlikely is this? About as unlikely as Smokey hooking up with fellow Van City resident Laura Vandervoot (j/k Smokey, just needed to get a pic of a hot chick in this post).Its time to get in the bunker for 2008-2009. Season starts at 7 tonight. I am pumped.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Gateway to the Lottery - Southeast Division Preview
Our NBA preview continues with the Southeast and just like its NHL brethren, it is arguably the worst division in the league. For 2009 draft lottery picks, I highly recommend you spend some time this year reading up and acquainting yourselves with 4 of these 5 cities just to be safe.
5. Charlotte Bobcats – The worst of the worst. I watched this team play a preseason game
last night in which they only scored 30 first half points. No wonder they went 0-8! The only things that kept me mildly interested were 1) J-Rich’s dazzling array of circus layups that didn’t even hit the rim, and 2) figuring out who the new uber-feminine Euro ponytail guy was on the Bobcats. Did Walter Hermann, the basketball Fabio, come back for a second stint? So I nearly crapped my pants when I found out it was the immortal stiff, Adam Morrison, whose new pedophile look should do wonders for keeping little children and the next generation of fans away from watching this awful team. I mean, did Jordan and Co. just assume they were drafting a team of collegiate all-stars for another March Madness run? Because a core of Felton, Okafor, May, Augustin, and Morrison just ain’t gonna cut it in this putrid division, let alone the NBA. This is the most forgettable franchise around. Can we fold them or at least move them to Seattle or Vancouver already?
4. Washington Wizards – Sure, the Wiz had some bad injury luck the last couple of years just before the playoffs, but are they that disillusioned to think their core would have competed anyways? Because not much has changed except that Arenas is out indefinitely and Jamison is older, banged up, and recently paid. Sure the Caron Butler trio is a nice player, but I’ve always felt this troika has been way overrated and overpaid. Plus Deshawn Stevenson is still a bum, Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood are not developing after 8 years of mediocrity, and if Andray Blatche is your future, you might as well start counting your ping pong balls now. And have fun with Agent Zero’s $111m broken knees over the next 6 years. Does Hibachi also mean deadweight in Japanese?
3. Atlanta Hawks – “Big beats, hit streets, see gangsters roamin. And parties don’t stop till eight in the mo’nin.” Well, I hope the Waffle House is good to this year’s Hawks because last year’s playoff parties may be a distant memory in mere months. Seriously, leave it up to their idiot management to immediately derail any momentum from the Celtics series by stalling forever on Josh Smith’s contract and low-balling Josh Childress to the point he’d rather go to Greece for his paycheck and a bucket of gyros. C’mon, really? Shouldn’t Atlanta be the last franchise trying to call a player’s bluff? The Atlanta Spirit Group makes MLSE look like Google to their Worldcom.
While Childress’ departure hurts a lot, it does open the door for Marvin Williams to prove himself. Does he succeed? I’m undecided but I don’t think he provides enough to unequivocally say this team is significantly better from last year’s 38 win team that snuck into the playoffs in a pathetic conference that should be improved this year. I think for that to happen, Bibby will have to summon his inner Andre Miller in a contract year, Joe Johnson will have to play every game like he did Game 4, Josh Smith will have to restrain himself from assassinating Coach Woodson, and they all have to stay healthy to cover up a bench that has less depth than Michael Vick's bank account. I’m pulling for them but sounds like a lot, eh? At least they’ll take solace in Al Horford’s development and finding new ways to screw the Raptors every time they visit. Plus, you don't mess with the Zaza.
2. Miami Heat – I don’t get why everyone automatically assumes this team is going to internally combust and become the felons of South Beach. I see a lot of talent at the 2-4 positions that’s not unlike an upgraded version of the Hawks. D-Wade was killer at the Olympics and I’m seriously hoping his body holds up the whole year. The NBA needs the 2006 Flash back and without that bumbling moron Shaq around, I can actually root for him now. Beasley is going to be awesome and average an 18/7 while Marion will still be one of the best small forward rebounders and defenders, even if his offensive flaws are exposed without Nash to feed him alley-oops all game. The Heat are still fast and will r
un and gun, which is to his and the rest of the team’s strength. And if Chalmers can put down the bong and become a decent PG, I totally feel this Heat team can make the playoffs. Love the gamble on Shaun Livingston too. The big question is if at the trade deadline, the Heat are hovering around .500 or lower, will they move Matrix? If so and they get shit all in return, then I’m not guaranteeing anything. Also true if Stephon Marbury shows up to South Beach in a truck.
1. Orlando Magic – They’re here by default even though I’m not a huge fan and think they should be much better than they are. Honestly, why d
oesn’t the whole team just share turns lobbing 12 foot passes in the vicinity of the rim for Howard to throw down? Oh that’s right, they still have that afterbirth Jameer Nelson running the point and thinking he’s a first team all-star. Hedo Turkoglu was a revelation last year, especially in crunch time when he seemed to clear out defenders and create space with his huge schnozz. The Magic better hope it wasn’t an aberration and that Rashard Lewis becomes more multi-dimensional, or else their fate is looking similar to last year – just good enough to make the 2nd round but clearly inferior to the conference’s elite. I’ll also be interested to see what Pietrus does with a more featured role and inspiration from his new coach (sorry, redundant joke, but always humourous).
5. Charlotte Bobcats – The worst of the worst. I watched this team play a preseason game
last night in which they only scored 30 first half points. No wonder they went 0-8! The only things that kept me mildly interested were 1) J-Rich’s dazzling array of circus layups that didn’t even hit the rim, and 2) figuring out who the new uber-feminine Euro ponytail guy was on the Bobcats. Did Walter Hermann, the basketball Fabio, come back for a second stint? So I nearly crapped my pants when I found out it was the immortal stiff, Adam Morrison, whose new pedophile look should do wonders for keeping little children and the next generation of fans away from watching this awful team. I mean, did Jordan and Co. just assume they were drafting a team of collegiate all-stars for another March Madness run? Because a core of Felton, Okafor, May, Augustin, and Morrison just ain’t gonna cut it in this putrid division, let alone the NBA. This is the most forgettable franchise around. Can we fold them or at least move them to Seattle or Vancouver already?
4. Washington Wizards – Sure, the Wiz had some bad injury luck the last couple of years just before the playoffs, but are they that disillusioned to think their core would have competed anyways? Because not much has changed except that Arenas is out indefinitely and Jamison is older, banged up, and recently paid. Sure the Caron Butler trio is a nice player, but I’ve always felt this troika has been way overrated and overpaid. Plus Deshawn Stevenson is still a bum, Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood are not developing after 8 years of mediocrity, and if Andray Blatche is your future, you might as well start counting your ping pong balls now. And have fun with Agent Zero’s $111m broken knees over the next 6 years. Does Hibachi also mean deadweight in Japanese? 3. Atlanta Hawks – “Big beats, hit streets, see gangsters roamin. And parties don’t stop till eight in the mo’nin.” Well, I hope the Waffle House is good to this year’s Hawks because last year’s playoff parties may be a distant memory in mere months. Seriously, leave it up to their idiot management to immediately derail any momentum from the Celtics series by stalling forever on Josh Smith’s contract and low-balling Josh Childress to the point he’d rather go to Greece for his paycheck and a bucket of gyros. C’mon, really? Shouldn’t Atlanta be the last franchise trying to call a player’s bluff? The Atlanta Spirit Group makes MLSE look like Google to their Worldcom.
While Childress’ departure hurts a lot, it does open the door for Marvin Williams to prove himself. Does he succeed? I’m undecided but I don’t think he provides enough to unequivocally say this team is significantly better from last year’s 38 win team that snuck into the playoffs in a pathetic conference that should be improved this year. I think for that to happen, Bibby will have to summon his inner Andre Miller in a contract year, Joe Johnson will have to play every game like he did Game 4, Josh Smith will have to restrain himself from assassinating Coach Woodson, and they all have to stay healthy to cover up a bench that has less depth than Michael Vick's bank account. I’m pulling for them but sounds like a lot, eh? At least they’ll take solace in Al Horford’s development and finding new ways to screw the Raptors every time they visit. Plus, you don't mess with the Zaza.
2. Miami Heat – I don’t get why everyone automatically assumes this team is going to internally combust and become the felons of South Beach. I see a lot of talent at the 2-4 positions that’s not unlike an upgraded version of the Hawks. D-Wade was killer at the Olympics and I’m seriously hoping his body holds up the whole year. The NBA needs the 2006 Flash back and without that bumbling moron Shaq around, I can actually root for him now. Beasley is going to be awesome and average an 18/7 while Marion will still be one of the best small forward rebounders and defenders, even if his offensive flaws are exposed without Nash to feed him alley-oops all game. The Heat are still fast and will r
un and gun, which is to his and the rest of the team’s strength. And if Chalmers can put down the bong and become a decent PG, I totally feel this Heat team can make the playoffs. Love the gamble on Shaun Livingston too. The big question is if at the trade deadline, the Heat are hovering around .500 or lower, will they move Matrix? If so and they get shit all in return, then I’m not guaranteeing anything. Also true if Stephon Marbury shows up to South Beach in a truck.1. Orlando Magic – They’re here by default even though I’m not a huge fan and think they should be much better than they are. Honestly, why d
oesn’t the whole team just share turns lobbing 12 foot passes in the vicinity of the rim for Howard to throw down? Oh that’s right, they still have that afterbirth Jameer Nelson running the point and thinking he’s a first team all-star. Hedo Turkoglu was a revelation last year, especially in crunch time when he seemed to clear out defenders and create space with his huge schnozz. The Magic better hope it wasn’t an aberration and that Rashard Lewis becomes more multi-dimensional, or else their fate is looking similar to last year – just good enough to make the 2nd round but clearly inferior to the conference’s elite. I’ll also be interested to see what Pietrus does with a more featured role and inspiration from his new coach (sorry, redundant joke, but always humourous). Tuesday, October 21, 2008
NBA Preview: Central Division
So it has fallen to me to write the preview for the Central Division. Let's be honest, no one really cares about 99% of the teams in the division. If/when LeBron goes to NJ/Brooklyn, will anyone actually watch games that involve any Central teams?
(Also, I am writing this preview while watching our plucky Raps close out the pre season in Edmonton. Matt Devlin just pointed out that the maintenance crew had to put masking tape down on the court to show the NBA Key and 3 Point Line. What the hell? Double lines? What is this, high school? Fucking Ghetto. Back to the preview.)
1. Detroit: Once again the old men from "Deee-Troit" will probably win the division. They will take care of business and pound the teams they are suppose to. They will play some close games against the best in the league, and they might even win a few. Most of the ESPN commentators will spend the year convincing us that the switch from Flip Saunders was the shake up that these guys needed. But guess what? They will lose in the 2nd round of the playoffs. They will mostly likely lose 4-2 to one of (Cle, Tor, Orl, Bos, Phi. I mean is there any prediction that is easier to make? Why people keep calling Detroit a contender is beyond me. Regular Season Overachievers that lack the heart to close it out in the playoffs? Sure, but title threats they are not. In fact, they should probably talk to the Shock to get a few tips on how to get out of the 2nd round.
2. Cleveland: Ah, Danny Ferry, you get a gold star for trying to convince LeBron to stay in a city that counts Drew Carey as one of its beloved sons. I don't know how I feel about the Mo Williams trade. On paper, it makes sense. LeBron needs a second scorer to take the pressure off him, and Mike Brown is just incompetent enough of an offensive tactician, to let Mo and LeBron take turns running iso plays while everyone stands around and watches. At the same time same Cleveland is a total grave-yard where marginal 2nd/3rd options to go to and die. I suppose Mo and LeBron will score enough to allow Cleveland to be very competitive. However, their upside is limited because Ben Wallace and Big Z will continue to fossilize before our eyes on defense. One cavat, I will take back all of this negativity if LeBron has developed a reliable mid range jumper than he can hit 50% of the time. If he has done that, all bets are off, I could be the second option in Cleveland, and LeBron is still gonna win the title.
3. Indiana: My sleeper Eastern Conference Playoff Pick. With the addition of TJ Ford, I think the Pacers have enough pieces to be competitive. An interesting point, TJ has never missed the playoffs in his NBA career. Anyway, Jim O'Brien likes to push the tempo and have his teams run with abandon on offense, which plays perfectly into TJ's strengths. TJ, Dunlevy Jr, Granger, Murphy/Foster/Rasho, Rush Brother 3, will probably jack up enough shots to average 100+ points a game. Indy is going to be super fun to watch, lose a ton of games 110-109, and they will sneak into the 8th seed. Indy is the new PHX/Denver/G-State East (well Mid-West, but Eastern Conference at least). This all goes out the window if TJ starts rollin' with Jamaal Tinsley, and TJ discovers his inner thug.
4. Chicago: Derrick Rose welcome to the LOTTERY! Seriously, I think Chicago is probably going to play better than they did last year. Deng got paid this summer, so I am predicting a big bounce back year for him. If Kirk Hienrich shoots as bad as last season, someone needs to put his picture on a milk carton. Ben Gordon is gonna be...well I don't know what he is going to be, I mean, I have never lost $50 million dollars before, so I don't know how you comeback from that. I find the Bulls to be a fascinating team. On talent alone, this team should be one of the best up and coming teams in the league, yet, they seem to be a pack of unmotivated underachievers, perhaps Tyrus Thomas really is that much of a cancer. Anyway, I wouldn't be shocked if the Bulls ended starting the season on a MAJOR losing streak since their coach is the incomparable Vinny Del Negro (who they hired because they were too cheap to buy Mike D'Antoni). My secret wish for the Bulls? That they do go into the tank for the first 20 games of the season, so Paxson makes a PANIC trade with the Raptors to get JO because his team desperately needs an inside presence, and he overpays by moving Deng and Noah to us.
5. Milwaukee: What can I say about this team? Probably nothing. They moved Chairman Yi for Richard Jefferson and promptly drafted his white clone in Joe Alexander. Ironcially, TJ Ford is EXACTLY the PG that this team needs right now, but he got traded for Charlie V a few seasons ago. Bogut, Charlie V, Redd, Jefferson, Ridinour seems decent enough, but we all know that it won't be, and the Bucks are destined for yet another lottery finish. However, and I can't believe I am about to say this, but the Bucks have a ton of players that I would love to see in a Raptors uniform (c'mon Colangelo, there are many many East GMs waiting to be fleeced!)
On a completely random NBA note. SOMEONE NEEDS TO SIGN DARIUS MILES. If Miles plays in 10 games this year, the Blazers lose $10 million in cap space. Someone better sign him, I don't even care if he plays a total of 10 minutes for the season. The Blazers must be stopped!!!!!
(Also, I am writing this preview while watching our plucky Raps close out the pre season in Edmonton. Matt Devlin just pointed out that the maintenance crew had to put masking tape down on the court to show the NBA Key and 3 Point Line. What the hell? Double lines? What is this, high school? Fucking Ghetto. Back to the preview.)
1. Detroit: Once again the old men from "Deee-Troit" will probably win the division. They will take care of business and pound the teams they are suppose to. They will play some close games against the best in the league, and they might even win a few. Most of the ESPN commentators will spend the year convincing us that the switch from Flip Saunders was the shake up that these guys needed. But guess what? They will lose in the 2nd round of the playoffs. They will mostly likely lose 4-2 to one of (Cle, Tor, Orl, Bos, Phi. I mean is there any prediction that is easier to make? Why people keep calling Detroit a contender is beyond me. Regular Season Overachievers that lack the heart to close it out in the playoffs? Sure, but title threats they are not. In fact, they should probably talk to the Shock to get a few tips on how to get out of the 2nd round.
2. Cleveland: Ah, Danny Ferry, you get a gold star for trying to convince LeBron to stay in a city that counts Drew Carey as one of its beloved sons. I don't know how I feel about the Mo Williams trade. On paper, it makes sense. LeBron needs a second scorer to take the pressure off him, and Mike Brown is just incompetent enough of an offensive tactician, to let Mo and LeBron take turns running iso plays while everyone stands around and watches. At the same time same Cleveland is a total grave-yard where marginal 2nd/3rd options to go to and die. I suppose Mo and LeBron will score enough to allow Cleveland to be very competitive. However, their upside is limited because Ben Wallace and Big Z will continue to fossilize before our eyes on defense. One cavat, I will take back all of this negativity if LeBron has developed a reliable mid range jumper than he can hit 50% of the time. If he has done that, all bets are off, I could be the second option in Cleveland, and LeBron is still gonna win the title.3. Indiana: My sleeper Eastern Conference Playoff Pick. With the addition of TJ Ford, I think the Pacers have enough pieces to be competitive. An interesting point, TJ has never missed the playoffs in his NBA career. Anyway, Jim O'Brien likes to push the tempo and have his teams run with abandon on offense, which plays perfectly into TJ's strengths. TJ, Dunlevy Jr, Granger, Murphy/Foster/Rasho, Rush Brother 3, will probably jack up enough shots to average 100+ points a game. Indy is going to be super fun to watch, lose a ton of games 110-109, and they will sneak into the 8th seed. Indy is the new PHX/Denver/G-State East (well Mid-West, but Eastern Conference at least). This all goes out the window if TJ starts rollin' with Jamaal Tinsley, and TJ discovers his inner thug.
4. Chicago: Derrick Rose welcome to the LOTTERY! Seriously, I think Chicago is probably going to play better than they did last year. Deng got paid this summer, so I am predicting a big bounce back year for him. If Kirk Hienrich shoots as bad as last season, someone needs to put his picture on a milk carton. Ben Gordon is gonna be...well I don't know what he is going to be, I mean, I have never lost $50 million dollars before, so I don't know how you comeback from that. I find the Bulls to be a fascinating team. On talent alone, this team should be one of the best up and coming teams in the league, yet, they seem to be a pack of unmotivated underachievers, perhaps Tyrus Thomas really is that much of a cancer. Anyway, I wouldn't be shocked if the Bulls ended starting the season on a MAJOR losing streak since their coach is the incomparable Vinny Del Negro (who they hired because they were too cheap to buy Mike D'Antoni). My secret wish for the Bulls? That they do go into the tank for the first 20 games of the season, so Paxson makes a PANIC trade with the Raptors to get JO because his team desperately needs an inside presence, and he overpays by moving Deng and Noah to us.5. Milwaukee: What can I say about this team? Probably nothing. They moved Chairman Yi for Richard Jefferson and promptly drafted his white clone in Joe Alexander. Ironcially, TJ Ford is EXACTLY the PG that this team needs right now, but he got traded for Charlie V a few seasons ago. Bogut, Charlie V, Redd, Jefferson, Ridinour seems decent enough, but we all know that it won't be, and the Bucks are destined for yet another lottery finish. However, and I can't believe I am about to say this, but the Bucks have a ton of players that I would love to see in a Raptors uniform (c'mon Colangelo, there are many many East GMs waiting to be fleeced!)
On a completely random NBA note. SOMEONE NEEDS TO SIGN DARIUS MILES. If Miles plays in 10 games this year, the Blazers lose $10 million in cap space. Someone better sign him, I don't even care if he plays a total of 10 minutes for the season. The Blazers must be stopped!!!!!
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