Thursday, December 4, 2008

Would You Rather?: TPTFUA Edition

There's a little game that has been gaining popularity in recent months that some of us at TPTFUA have been playing for a few years now. The game is known as "Would You Rather?". The basic premise is that Contestant 1 gives Contestant 2 two insanely ridiculous options, and Contestant 2 must choose which option "He'd Rather" complete if he ABSOLUTELY HAD TO DECIDE. The idea is pretty simple, but my friends, the game is not. Once you engage in a game of "Would You Rather?", you MUST answer the question you've been asked no matter how horrific the choice. They start out nicely. Feel free to answer below and add your own.

1) Would You Rather shave Kerry Fraser's head or party for a weekend with Eddie Belfour?

2) Would You Rather fight Mike Tyson (in his prime) or UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar in a street fight?

3) Would You Rather do away with the WNBA or the CFL (in hopes of Toronto getting an NFL team)?

4) Would You Rather smoke a joint with Josh Howard or with Ricky Williams?

5) Would You Rather have Shaq or Warren Sapp as your cell mate while serving a 30 year bid?

6) Would You Rather get drunk with Wendal Clark or Kelly Gruber?

7) Would You Rather punch Vince Carter in the face or bitch slap John Ferguson Jr?

8) Would You Rather have had the Hakeem Olajuwon or Andrew Raycroft experiments work out?

9) Would You Rather have the Raptors and Jays each win 2 titles over the next 15 years, or have the Leafs win 3 titles over the next 18 years?

10) Would You Rather sleep with AP's sister, Candice Parker or Vince Carter's ex-wife Ellen?

11) Would You Rather take back the drafting of Rafael Araujo over Andre Iguodala 0r losing Brad Boyes, Alyn McCauley and a 1st round pick for Owen Nolan?
(....I bet Tex would rather have not invested in a Nolan jersey)

12) Would You Rather have sex with a Raptors cheerleader dressed as Carleton the Bear or Old School "BJ" Birdie? (pictured here: not a Raptors cheerleader)
13) Would You Rather have seen Dave Winfield kill the seagull live or attended the final game at Maple Leaf Gardens?

14) Would You Rather go up against David Wells or Cecil Fielder in a chicken wing eating contest?

15) Would You Rather have had Scotty Bowman a few years ago (when Sundin still had some great years left) or Brian Burke now as the Leafs GM?

16) Would You Rather bring back the Montreal Expos or the Seattle SuperSonics?
17) Would You Rather have at your disposal the female entourage of Tom Brady or Allen Iverson? (any current relationships don't mean shit)

18) Would You Rather have your first born son look like Nick Van Exel or Mike Ricci?

(side bar: can we go back to calling it the SkyDome now???)

19) Would You Rather have the use of the SkyDome or the Raptors Dance Pack for the May 24 weekend?

20) Would You Rather see Josh Hamilton or Chris "The Birdman" Anderson make a return to the crackpipe?

21) Would You Rather have Chuck Swirsky or Charles Oakley as your father in law?

22) Would You Rather have Sean Avery or Plaxico Burress date your daughter?

23) Would You Rather have a shower with Brian Burke or Bryan Colangelo?

24) Would You Rather win a Stanley Cup this year or have Burke pull an impossible trade for Sidney Crosby?

25) Would You Rather.....?


(I like Vanessa Marcil, but I LOVE Bonnie Hunt. Look into her eyes, she will eat you alive.)



Pension Plan Puppets said...

1) Shave Fraser's head.
2) Tyson with my corner man ready with a towel.
3) WNBA - I like the CFL
4) Josh Howard - Richy seems like he would be too uncomfortable
5) Shaq - Sapp is an asshole
6) Wendel Clark - Correct the spelling mistake before he punches out all of your blood.
7) Vince Carter in the face with brass knuckles
8) Olajuwon - I love the Dream
9) Leafs win 3 Cups.
10) Carter's sister so I would have something to talk to him about after I punched him in the face.
11) Nolan trade definitely
12) Carlton
13) I was at the second last game at the Gardens so let's say the game to make up for just missing out
14) Wells - He'd get too drunk while Fielder would be all business
15) Burke now.
16) Expos
17) Tom Brady, no doubt
18) Gahhhhh Van Exel
19) Define use? Dance Pack
20) The Birdman
21) The Oak for sure
22) Plaxico since it would only last until he shot himself to death
23) Burke, he's a hockey player. He knows the rules
24) One sure Cup.
25) Vanessa Marcil by a mile. She seems like such a sexpot.

richie said...

1. Party with Belfour
2. Tyson - having ears is overrated
3. WNBA - Love CFL
4. Ricky - we could do yoga
5. Shaq - tough call though, both dicks
6. Wendel
7. Vince
8. The Dream
9. Leafs - by a hair
10. Candace
11. Hoffa
13. I was at the last game at the gardens. In the greys. Fuckin Probert scored, Leafs lost. It was all hype. I'll take Winfield.
14. Wells
15. Burke
16. Les Expos
17. Iverson's biatches
18. Van Exel
19. Dance Pack
20. Birdman
21. "Ring it up from downtown.." umm no. Gimme Oak
23. Burke
24. One Cup
25. Bonnie Hunt??? What are you smoking? Gimme Marcil.

Tex said...

1) Belfour. For sure. It would make for a great story to tell.
2) I would rather get hit in the face with Tyson's gloved hand than Lesnar's knee.
3) WNBA? Never heard of it.
4) Ricky.
5) Shaq seems like the type who would want to cuddle afterward.
6) Wendel, of course. He's not buddies with Trish the Dish.
7) Vince. His actions were intentional. JFJ can't help that he's an idiot.
8) The Dream.
9) Leafs, by a mile.
10) Flip a coin... and Candace it is.
11) Hoffa. I really did like Nolan.
12) "BJ"... if you know what I'm sayin'.
13) Winfield.
14) Wells.
15) Burke. Isn't Bowman older than Cliffy?
16) Les Expos. Je me souviens.
17) Brady, hands down.
18) Van Exel.
19) Dance Pack.
20) Birdman.
21) Oak!
22) Plax. Hard for him to touch her from his prison cell.
23) Colangelo. I don't need to be seeing any old man balls.
24) The Cup.
25) BONNIE HUNT?!? WTF? I'm no psychiatrist, but seems pretty Oedipian of you Smokey, doesn't it? Gimme Marcil any day.

Billy Bee Absentee said...

1)Belfour - at least he was in Miami
3)CFL - Anything for some NFL action
4)Howard because I think he'd have some hoes with him
5)Sapp looks like he would cuddle
6)Wendel, but I think he might not like minorities
7)Carter, with a kick to the balls as a capper
9)Raptors win 2 titles
10)Candice Parker - she's kinda hot
13)I actually went to the last game, so I guess Dave Winfield?
14)Wells - he's an overrated fatty
16)Les Expos!
17)Tom Brady = Victoria Secret Models!
18)Van Exel?!?!
19)Dance Pack
21)Oak, he'd be awesome
22)Plax - he's not that bad, just dumb
25)Vanessa Marcil, you know that bitch has some very very dirty tricks in the bedroom....

Anonymous said...

After getting high with Ricky Williams and getting drunk with Wendel, I think I could take on both Tyson and Lesnar and not feel a thing.

The next morning might be a different story though.