Thursday, November 13, 2008

MLB Free Agency Looming

Free agency is nearly upon us. What should we expect from the Blue Jays? A variety of scenarios abound...

1. Uncle Roger will blame a weak Canadian Dollar on the fact that he cannot spend money.

2. AJ Burnett will stay in Toronto. (fingers crossed he doesn't!!!!!!!)

3. JP Ricciardi will continue to diss Johnny Mac and sign another crapola shortstop of the Eckstein ilk.

4. Lyle Overbay seems on the wayout, leaving the obvious money going to a new first baseman with some pop.

5. At least one starting pitcher will need to be signed. ESPN seems to think it will be Brad Penny due to his ties with pitching coach Brad Arnsberg.

6. Designated Hitter rumours of the Giambi variety are floating.

7. Trade BJ Ryan to clear salary for a bigger move. (Please, please, please, please..)

8. But let me state the thing that the vast majority of Jays fans are thinking. I apologize if this is completely and utterly obvious.... but we want the wow factor. Remember the year the Jays signed Roger Clemons and you were like "fuckin A right!"

Well this time instead of picking up a guy who shoots roids in the butt, lets offer Manny Ramirez a guaranteed 4 year contract. Not only is he awesome on the field, I defy you to read this article and tell me he is not also the balls off it.

Without a truly outstanding offseason the Jays could sink to fifth in the division. I don't want to have to curl up in the fetal position and weep.

Our lives are in your hands Mr Rogers, Beeston, Ricciardi dudes. Give Cito something to work with. Sing it with me now - "Ok, Ok, Blue Jays, Blue Jays, let's, let's, play, play, ball."


Billy Bee Absentee said...

Manny! Manny! Manny! Please, if it means that the Jays will have to start a bunch of kids from the farm in their rotation, so be it!

Tex said...

That's an awesome article! Manny is totally insane, and I agree that he would be a great add - not to mention the fact that I bet he would seriously love to play in a city like Toronto - but sadly it will not happen. In this economy with the tanking CDN$ and Scott Boras making Manny's decisions, there's no chance. Oh well, at least we'll get to see more of Lind and Snider next year - not to mention more mediocrity and a 4th place finish in the AL East after the Yanks re-tool. Sad but true.

Tex said...

Oh, and interesting article from the Wall St. Journal saying that Manny (along with Teixera and CC) is worth the $$$ he'll get paid in free agency. Others are a rip off.

Fermat said...

There are 2 things I concluded from that New Yorker article.

1) I am all for Manny in a Blue Jays uniform next year.

2) I need to re-upholster my car with ostrich

Akhbar Shabazz Jenkins said...

If it's paper, it's gotta be Hilroy. If it's leather, it's gotta be ostrich.